learning that self depreciation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it’s true.
my gf just ripped some ungodly ass that had my eyes watering i mean absolutely noxious it was so bad i made her leave the bedroom until she was done and i opened the window and shoved my head out so i didn’t throw up breathing in the tainted air of our once peaceful bedroom.
anyways once it dissipated and i got back into bed she walked back in and looked me in the eyes and said “sorry for farty rocking 🥺”
People who see pics of like those fucked up deep sea fish and creatures and go “omg I’m never going swimming in the ocean again 😰😰😰” calm down. They’re 5000 feet below where you are and also i went down there and none of them even knew you. Leave them alone bitch
pioneering something called “gritted teeth optimism” where everything is gonna turn out okay even if i have to bite and claw and gnash my way through it
Everything’s gonna be fine and it’s not negotiable.
I had a dream that Joe Biden addressed the nation wearing a Miko robe like a Shinto priestess. He was also visibly 8 months pregnant. He didn’t talk about that until the press asked him about it, to which he replied “I bear the child of a great spirit” as if that was like, something mildly inconvenient like getting stuck in traffic.
misophonic wizard who carries a regular gun and an anti-gun, so they can fire both at the same time and the sounds will cancel each other out, resulting in perfect silence.
the trick is to hit with the gun but miss with the anti-gun, as otherwise your target will be healed by the anti-bullets
For bottom surgery do I shoot my dick off with the gun or the anti-gun?
depends on if they’re bottom surgery guns or not.
shooting your dick with a regular gun will not be a good idea.
shooting your dick with a regular antigun will only heal your dick
shooting your dick with a regular gun of bottom surgery will give you bottom surgery
shooting your dick with an antigun of bottom surgery will take away your bottom surgery. But since you don’t have one yet, it’ll just give you a second penis.
“You can’t be a lurker on tumblr.” Yes, you absolutely can. I’ve been quietly reblogging things since 2014 and I haven’t interacted with anyone in years.
